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If you experience romantic feelings and attraction toward your best friend, you may be overwhelmed, stressed, or even scared. You may be worried about Looking for lover and bestfriend your feelings will affect your friendship regardless of whether you say something.
When you value your relationship with a friend, it can feel very difficult to do or say anything that may jeopardize that. Whether or not you share your feelings with your best friend is ultimately up to you and your scenario. Certain circumstances may impact your decision; for example, if your friend is already in a relationship, you may feel more inclined to keep your feelings to yourself.
However, the value of being honest and openly communicating your thoughts should not be understated. A good option is to talk to your friend. Be open, honest, and patient during this conversation. It is a time for you to share how you feel and an opportunity to hear how your friend feels. They may return your feelings — if so, great! If they do not, or if they are unsure how to respond immediately, thoughtful communication can help the two of you work through things in a way that does not strain your friendship.
Of course, if things do not work outyou may be disappointed or hurt. These feelings are totally normal parts of rejection. You may feel you need some space from your friendship or some time to process things. Again, these are good feelings to communicate with your friend. Something that may be beneficial to you is opening the conversation with questions rather than statements. Telling someone directly that you like them can put a lot of pressure on them, and it might make them nervous or uncomfortable, even if they feel the same way!
It can be far more beneficial to approach the conversation with curiosity instead. Ask this person, do you think we would ever work together as a couple? Ask them if they are looking for anything romantically right now or if they prefer to be single. If the conversation starts with a question, you can gauge their response before going forward and get a good idea of how they feel before being vulnerable and putting your heart on the line! You already benefit from being best friends so that the conversation will be very accessible, and it does not need to be awkward if you handle it right.
Remember that relationships evolve in the same way that you change and grow over time.
This is not only normal but also healthy and encouraged. Do not worry about your relationship with your best friend changing because change is an inevitability. That means you could start as best friends with someone, then move toward a relationship.
It also means that Looking for lover and bestfriend may be times you stop talking to someone, and you think you have lost them, only to have the joy of becoming friends all over again somewhere down the line. These are all the natural rhythms of life, and it is okay to be along for the ride. Best friends often have a lot in common, whether personalities, hobbies, or experiences and goals.
Falling in love with your best friend may be frustrating or scary, but if you spend a lot of time together and get along well, it makes sense! It is normal to have platonic — or non-romantic - love for all sorts of people in your life, including your friends. It is possible to care greatly about someone you have no interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with.
However, if you feel like your feelings go beyond normal friendship, you might find it helpful to unpack some of your emotions. Maybe you and your best friend do a lot of your favorite activities together. Perhaps your friend is supportive, thoughtful, or knows you better than anyone else. You may experience falling in love slowly or over time — you might not even realize it until something happens to spark a reaction, like seeing your best friend pursue someone else.
The simple answer to why you love your best friend is that they are your best friend; the same things that make them an important friend might spark attraction! Your best friend has likely been through a lot with you, and you might feel a connection to them that you do not agree with others in your life. It is not as uncommon as you may think to fall in love with your best friend. Much like romantic relationships, friendship is based on shared qualities, values, and personal connections. Best friends who spend a lot of time together and have had valuable experiences together may already have some romantic relationship qualities.
In fact, some of the best relationships are built on the foundation of a strong friendship. Of course, there is a distinct difference between having a strong friendship with someone and being romantically attracted to them. If you know you are in love with your best friend and are worried or concerned, rest assured that your feelings are normal and valid. Honest communication with your best friend about your feelings is important.
As discussed earlier in this article, there can be some considerable drawbacks Looking for lover and bestfriend deciding not to tell your friend how you feel. You might struggle with secret feelings of hurt, jealousy, or other emotions as time goes by.
You might have a hard time seeing your friend dating someone else, and the longer you decide to wait, the more difficult it may feel. Even if your conversation does not end in a romantic relationship, it may be beneficial to share how you feel. You likely want this person to remain in your life even if a relationship does not work. There may be other factors at play that present challenges, like long-distance situations, but you may find that you feel much better simply being honest.
You and your friend can work out how to proceed. If you decide to share your feelings, try opening the conversation with a question, not a statement. You can take a lot of pressure off if you start asking your friend about her feelings and you let her lead the conversation. That way, she will be much more honest, she will feel much less awkward, and you can both open up to each other. That means you will not shame your friend if they do not feel the same way, and you will also take time for yourself if you need some distance from this person. Earlier in our guide, we discussed some typical s of attraction.
It can be hard to draw the line between friendly behavior and romantic behavior, especially if your friend is especially affectionate in general. There is no foolproof way to know that your best friend likes you or loves you as more than a friend other than to ask them! Your friend may Looking for lover and bestfriend jealous over the prospect of you dating someone else, for example. They might act flirtatiously giving compliments, initiating physical contact, etc.
Or their behavior might change in less obvious ways — maybe they seem more closed off or removed as they struggle to process their feelings. Again, the best and most sure way to understand how your friend feels about you is to discuss it. You want your friend to feel comfortable being truthful and thoughtful. Marrying a best friend can certainly be rewarding.
If you have been friends for a while, it is likely the two of you have lots of shared memories and experiences.
You might have an especially strong connection and a deep understanding of one another that can be hard to find elsewhere. If you pursue a relationship with your best friend, you might want to keep in mind the importance of communication. Things that may have led to spats in the past may lead to Looking for lover and bestfriend serious arguments if you enter a serious relationship, for example.
Be diligent about being honest and open. It is totally possible and totally okay! It may be disorienting if you have never experienced attraction toward a girl in the past, but sometimes our closest friends have qualities that naturally lead to attraction. If you are struggling with your sexuality and understanding how you feel about your best friend or anyone else, you may find it helpful to confide in someone else you trust.
It could be a parent, another close friend, a sibling, or even a mental health professional like a counselor or a therapist. Find someone accepting and open-minded to have a healthy discussion about how you feel. Some of the best relationships come from friendships. This is true for both heterosexual and homosexual relationships. You have probably been subject to very heteronormative rhetoric throughout your life, which means it is more difficult to find examples in the media about relationships that look like yours.
But that does not invalidate your feelings in any way, and it does not mean that you are alone. Never let anyone make you feel lesser because of who you are. Prioritize self-love and acceptance in your life, and you will unlock deep reserves of power and confidence! Telling anyone how you feel can be Looking for lover and bestfriend scary experience, especially if you are worried about rejection. The best way to have such a serious discussion is in person, ideally, and in a private, quiet place. Trying to discuss your feelings at the lunch table might not be the best idea, for example.
When you discuss how you feel, it is important, to be honest. Do not lie or downplay how you really feel — you want your friend to understand your thoughts and emotions, and you want to be sure that you are heard. You might find it helpful to practice your conversation and words with someone else beforehand or write them down. This can help you feel more confident at the moment and make sure that you include all of the things that you want to say. Another good tip is to ask questions instead of making statements. If you let your friend lead the conversation, she will be much more open and honest, and you can avoid putting pressure on her.
Remember, this is a scary situation for her too, and it should be handled gently and with respect. It is easy to feel nervous but remember that this person is your best friend for a reason. They likely care about you a great deal and will be willing to listen and understand how you feel. Expressing love for friends is a completely normal thing to do — in fact, being open about how much you care about your friends will probably do wonders to strengthen your relationship! You can show your love for a friend in other ways too.
Be supportive and thoughtful in moments of need. Be sure to remind them how important they are to you. You might feel more comfortable sharing your love if you practice being open about the value of your friendship in other ways.
Perhaps it is more typical in romantic comedies for two close friends to fall in love, which has garnished this notion that it is common for people in real life. While it can happen, the outcome might be a little less polished than those in the movies. For example, when friends fall for each other, it can feel like an easy transition from platonic friendship to romantic feelings. This can be a hurdle that not all best friends overcome when they fall in love.
For that reason, some people choose to keep their great friendship intact rather than complicate things with the notion of falling in love. Some friends fall in love and want to preserve the friendship and the romantic feelings without the relationship commitment. Not all feelings lead to long-term, serious relationships.
Some individuals view their best friends as soulmates - not romantically, but just someone they feel a deep, lifelong connection with. If you fall in love with or come to love your friend in a platonic way, you might experience a deep trust, care, and affinity for them, rather than in a romantic way or any way that would call for sex friendships. Friends fall in love with each other all the time for entirely normal reasons.
In fact, when friends fall for one another, there might never be a romantic suggestion anyway. People can even fall in love with multiple best friends. If you think you need help navigating those feelings, never be afraid to seek the guidance of a professional counselor. Friends can fall in love without needing a romantic outcome or sex friendships. Some best friends fall in love and begin a romantic relationship, but others choose to maintain a platonic relationship instead. Falling in love does not happen every day, and noticing that connection with another person is special.
If you know or suspect that Looking for lover and bestfriend other person is also falling in love, you might be that much more excited and confused about the normality of two friends falling in love or beginning to fall in love. Seeing a relationship shift from one way to another can be both interesting and intimidating.
The beauty of love is that each relationship is unique to itself. Other friends fall for each other and choose to see what happens. Is he unusually standoffish and awkward? Friends fall in love and sometimes forget how to act around one another. Some friends fall for each other and act oddly until they know what to do about their feelings.
If you notice your guy friend behaving differently, giving you more attention than normal or lesshe might be falling in love. In some cases, he might hope for sex friendships or something a bit less platonic, or he may not be interested in pursuing a relationship despite his feelings.
Does that person get jealous when you speak about other potential romantic partners? Falling in love with a friend can be potentially easier to identify because you know the person better. If you think your friend is falling in love because of a change in their usual behaviors, you might be onto something. Friends fall in love without notice, sometimes. Spending more and more quality time together can be grounds to fall in love, especially depending on your love languages.Looking for lover and bestfriend
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