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So how can you tell if someone is your best friend? HelloGiggles spoke with two experts on friendship to get all the details about what makes a BFF. Because even if no one is asking who your BFF is anymore, you want to confirm that your friendship is true. But even if those characters remind you of your best friend, your relationship is special and unique to the two of you. HG spoke with d clinical psychologist Dr. Andrea Bonior and friendship expert Shasta Nelson about what makes a best friend. And that trust can range from your best friend keeping your secrets to always showing up for a lunch date.
Bonior also pointed out that the trust in the friendship needs to go both ways. Your best friend needs to trust you just as much as you trust them. Nelson said she evaluates the health of a friendship in three ways: Consistent interaction, vulnerable sharing, and positive feelings. But there still has to be that sense of consistency. We both have to believe that the other person is still in our life. Anything that increases the way we do consistent interaction is a way to measure the depth of a relationship.
Both Nelson and Bonior brought up the importance of vulnerability in a best friendship. You reveal parts of yourself to them that you might not reveal to other people—and they Im looking for my bff you anyway. Motivation comes in many forms, and your best friend should really be inspiring you to be your best self.
So that means that you genuinely admire this person and they admire you. Imagine something has happened to you at work—maybe you got a raise or maybe you had a disagreement with your boss. In the words of the Ghostbusters: Who you gonna call? According to Bonior, the answer is your bestie. They come first on that list.
So while your parents, siblings, or ificant other may be high on that list too, your BFF is at the top with them. Bonior noted that your best friend is someone you share all your news with, whereas other friends may only be there for you in specific times. I think there has to be some overlap there. How is it different than you were expecting it to be? What does our friendship need to look like now?
Up the positivity and up the sharing.
Anything you can do to help make that subject not taboo and be proud of it in their lives. The same applies if your friend has a different focus in her life, for example, work or dating. Both Bonior and Nelson mentioned that life transitions can threaten a friendship. But a best friendship can last through these changes when you put effort into maintaining and growing it. If both of you are willing to put forth the effort, I think the friendship can grow.
Nelson went back to her three main criteria for a good friendship when it comes to making an effort. We still had to learn those things.
Sure, you may have joked about marrying your best friend, but Nelson compared best friendship to marriage because you have to work on it. A healthier marriage means they handle conflict well and they go through it—and that should be similar for our friendships. But in an ideal situation, our closest friends should be the people that we practice having those conversations with when we get hurt or disappointed or have unmet expectations.
The key is, as The Beatles would say, work it out. Nelson also mentioned the benefits of hashing things out. Nelson also suggested that you can spread the supportive friend responsibility out. Yet, she made it clear that this draining feeling should not be constant and if it is, you may need to evaluate the friendship.
Home Love Friends 22 s that your friend is really your best friend. Caitlin Gallagher Updated Jan 24, pm. FB Tweet More. Credit: HBO. All rights reserved. Close this dialog window View image.Im looking for my bff
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